The Shadows of Emma's Past
by BigTimeRush-BTR
Summary: Everybody knows Emma, "the girl next floor," who is sarcastic, not afraid to speak the truth, and driven to succeed. Everyone knows that she is at Ocean Park because of her anorexia, but no one really knows how it is that she ended up there. No one knows her story, until now.


**Alright, so I usually write Big Time Rush fanfiction. This is my first time writing anything that is not related to BTR. I started watching Red Band Society because Ciara Bravo (the actress who plays Emma Chota) was a character on Big Time Rush, so I decided to give the show a try. I don't regret it. The show is amazing... I'm kind of obsessed... But anyway, I tried writing a little something, hopefully it doesn't suck.**

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><p>The food in front of her remained untouched, her chocolate brown eyes staring at it with a look that could only be described as full of boredom. She bit down softly on her bottom lip as she debated whether or not she wanted to eat at all. She knew that she had to eat if she wanted to get better. But did she want to? No, not at all. Most people would tell her that it wasn't that hard, that all she had to do was eat it, that it wasn't such a big deal. Others would say that she was just doing this for attention. That it was stupid of her not to eat. What they didn't know though, was that it wasn't as easy as taking one bite. Taking a bite of the sandwich in front of her would not suddenly gain back her appetite. And she most certainly had not stopped eating for attention. She wasn't that kind of person.<p>

Nobody knew her story. Nobody knew about the demons she had to fight with every single day. The silent whispers in her head that told her not to eat and that murmured the insults she had to face on a daily basis before she was admitted into Ocean Park. Those words had broken her, left her mentally scarred, and unfortunately, made her believe she was not good enough. Friends left her and replaced her with others. They forgot all about her, making her nothing but a memory. That is, if they even remembered her at all.

At school, she had never been the most popular girl. Not nearly as popular as Kara, the blonde, heartless girl who had been admitted into Ocean Park just a few days before. Come to think of it, she was quite the opposite of Kara. She wasn't much of a girly girl, unlike her she tried to be nice to others, and she was always the quiet girl. Some would consider her to be antisocial, but that was not the case at all. Because of how badly she had been treated all throughout her life, she knew the way others were. She knew that not everyone was kind - knew she had to be careful -, therefore, only spoke to others if they spoke to her first or if she felt the necessity to do so.

So how exactly had she ended up starving herself to the point in which it became a problem? How had she ended up being a patient at Ocean Park Hospital? This was a mystery to everybody, for she didn't like to talk about it and refused to do so with anybody. Not even Leo - the one boy who had taken her heart at one point - knew why it was that she was in there. And maybe that is the way she liked it, considering the two teenagers were no longer together. Though she would be lying to herself if she said she no longer had feelings for him; she still liked him. But after the new kid, Jordi, had been admitted into the hospital, she realized that she also kind of liked him as well. To say she was confused over who she liked more would have been an understatement. A part of her liked Jordi. She wanted to like Jordi and put what she had once had with Leo in the past. But she still had feelings for Leo. She did, and she could not deny it.

"So why exactly are _you_ here?" Kara spat, startling the brunette, who had completely zoned out. The blonde cheerleader was sitting across from her on the table in the cafeteria, hand under her chin, eyeing her with curiosity.

"Because it's the cafeteria?" Emma said, saying it more like a question than a statement. "I didn't think I needed your approval in order to be in here."

"Quiet, sassy pants. That is not what I meant. But now that you brought it up, what ARE you doing in here? Aren't you on like a strict no-eating-anything diet?"

Emma rolled her eyes. "First of all, anorexia is not a diet, and second, that is none of your business." She then took a hold of the tray that contained her food and started to get up to leave, but Kara stopped her by grabbing onto her shoulder. The smaller girl turned around, holding back a sigh of annoyance. "What?"

"You didn't answer my question."

"Yes I did," Emma said, wanting more than anything to not be near Kara's presence.

"No. I told you that is not what I meant, as in, I was not referring to the cafeteria. I was talking about the hospital. I know that you're here because you refuse to eat, but I mean... Why? Why are you so afraid of food?"

"I am not _afraid_ of food." This time, Emma did sigh. _Why was Kara asking so many questions? Why did she even care?_ "And to answer your question, let's just say that after being treated like crap your whole life, you start to believe everything you are told, and eventually start to hate yourself. You lose interest in everything and simply want to disappear from the face of the earth."

She paused, watching Kara's shocked expression.

"Of course, you wouldn't know that. You're Miss Popular. Try being the ghost for once." And with that, she turned on her heels and walked away, but not before throwing her food into the trashcan.

She didn't look back, there was no point after all. It wasn't like Kara was going to run after her, begging for forgiveness. She wasn't like that and Emma knew it well. Besides, she didn't need her pity. She didn't need anybody's pity.

So with a heavy heart, she walked through the hallways, until she reached her room. Once there, she plopped down on her bed, taking a hold of the blanket near her feet and tugging it up to her shoulders. And it was then, when she knew that she was alone, that she let the tears fall. Everybody thought she was so strong and happy, but she was far from it. How could she be happy when the past came back to haunt her every time she was alone? How could she ever let go of it when she shut everybody out and didn't let them in? How could she ever go back to being herself once again...?

She didn't know, but man, did she wish she did.

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><p><strong>I know it was short and maybe not that good, but I'd love some feedback on it. Thanks for reading. Should I continue?<strong>

**~ BigTimeRush-BTR :)**


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